I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
