i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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