I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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