I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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