i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
