When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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