Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
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