just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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