'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
