Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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