she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I could fuck to npr.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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