Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My ass is underappreciated
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
