Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
