come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sorry my hands just texted you
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
