she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
