If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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