I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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