he thought i was a dude.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
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I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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