I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
