I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
