im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize