You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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