i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
