idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
