Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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