If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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