with your own penis?
so explain again why im purple
no
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
