Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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