Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
