Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize