so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
