Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
