It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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