The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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