I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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