I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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