Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Pants are for mortals
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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