Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
