You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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