The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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