hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize