the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
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you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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