it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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