I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
