ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
