So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
