My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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