I bet he comes in French.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize