if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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