she was so not down for the gang bang
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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