there's paper in my vomit.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
