dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
