I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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