I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
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No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!