he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
