My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
