yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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