Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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