Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
