he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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