Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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