he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
