her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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