Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
