I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
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My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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